Etiquette expert dissects Queen Mary’s behaviour during visit Down Under

An etiquette expert has dissected Australian-born Queen Mary’s conduct during her trip Down Under, explaining why some people may have been surprised by her behaviour.

In Australia for a six-day State visit, the Australian-born queen of Denmark alongside husband King Frederik X has visited Perth, Uluru, Canberra, and Melbourne and will end the trip in Hobart.

It is the royal pair’s first official trip to Australia since ascending the throne in January 2024.

Etiquette expert Jo Hayes said Queen Mary’s behaviour during her trip home may have taken some people by surprise.

“She’s warm and friendly, absolutely, but she behaves as she should — as royalty,” Ms Hayes said, commending her deportment.

“She holds herself beautifully — perfect posture, back straight, chin up, walking gracefully and confidently wherever she goes — whether bushwalking in boots, swatting copious flies in Uluru … or glammed up for the State dinner at Government House.

“She holds herself, and behaves, with, what I described as ‘royal restraint’.”

Ms Hayes said it was no secret Mary had undertaken royal training in her early years in the Danish royal family.

“She’s honed this royal deportment over the past 25 years and it sets her apart from the more relaxed Aussie vibe most of us are used to here in Australia. Yes, even from our politicians and other ‘important people’,” she said.

“This isn’t to say she’s no longer one of us but we mustn’t expect her to drop her 25 years of regal training when she lands Down Under.

“Additionally, royal couples typically have a rule of restraining overly familiar body language in public. Rarely holding hands, touching each other in affectionate ways etc. … it’s a healthy rule/boundary to help differentiate their public life from their personal/private life.”

In the background of the visit is some personal heartbreak which may also be affecting her, Ms Hayes said.

Mary’s father, retired mathematics professor John Donaldson, who she is due to visit at the end of her trip is not well.

“No doubt her father’s declining health is on her mind. He’s 84 and in a ‘frail’ condition, according to reports, and as she doesn’t get to spend much time with him, she’s no doubt chomping at the bit to see him at the end of this official visit,” Ms Hayes said.

“I would say her inner strength is keeping her steady and anchored in her approach to her father’s declining health and she can rest easy knowing her siblings are around taking very good care of him.”

As for her relationship with Frederik which has attracted much speculation over the years, Ms Hayes believes all is well.

“She has shown enormous personal strength and resilience in uprooting her entire life/all that she has ever known, to move toa foreign country, marry into European royalty … and now, step up to the role of Queen of Denmark. All while raising 4 children and maintaining a healthy marriage (and despite reports to the contrary, it is quite clear that Mary and Fredrick have a healthy, loving relationship).”